How did I forget that in that boring month of January we won the national championship....good grief.
WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2.08.2011
Packing Our Bags and Moving to Plan B
I have failed you. It has been almost two months since I last posted. I got so wrapped up in holidays and the start of tax season that I just realized it had been so long since I last posted. Christmas was great. I spent a day at my grandmothers house with my family and Scott and I spent Christmas day here at the house with his dad. It was really laid back and just what I needed. New Years we celebrated at Natalie's wedding, which was absolutly beautiful. January kind of went by in a blur! We started injections to prepare for the transfer of our remaining frozen embryos and just kind of went day by day. I was alot less stressed this go around and Scott and I even snuck off for a weekend in Vegas. We transftered 3 embryos on Jan 26 and sadly found out yesterday that it hadn't worked. The Dr. wants to meet with me at the end of February to talk about other options and I am going just to hear what she has to say but Scott and I have packed up our infertility bag and are moving on with adoption!
We submitted our application to FAS at the begining of January and were surprised to get a call several days later saying we had been approved. We started the homestudy process on Jan 20th and were added as #7 to the list for adoption. So much has happened in the last 2 months and I feel that we are finally at peace with what is ahead of us. I know that we are on the right path now and it will just be a matter of time before the baby that is meant to be ours is with us. Thanks to everyone for your support and understanding through this journey. I know it isn't always easy to find the words to say but know that we know how much all of you care and we love you all.
We submitted our application to FAS at the begining of January and were surprised to get a call several days later saying we had been approved. We started the homestudy process on Jan 20th and were added as #7 to the list for adoption. So much has happened in the last 2 months and I feel that we are finally at peace with what is ahead of us. I know that we are on the right path now and it will just be a matter of time before the baby that is meant to be ours is with us. Thanks to everyone for your support and understanding through this journey. I know it isn't always easy to find the words to say but know that we know how much all of you care and we love you all.
12.17.2010
We Love Jenny Eagan Photography!
As most of you know for the past 7 years we have taken our own Christmas picture with the dogs. We would set up a camera on a tripod and Scott would use a remote (you can see it every year in his hand) and we would take countless pictures while screaming at the dogs to be still, look at the camera, Grayson where's the bird and on and on until we came up with a decent enough picture to send out. Some years they are great some years funny and others just a hot mess. This year, since we have 3 dogs, we decided we needed some help. Scott has gotten to be friends with Hank Eagan through Jeremy Hackney and his wife Jenny has gotten into photography. We asked her if she was up for the challenge and her response was, yes...I am excited and nervous. Whey she was nervous I don't know because she did a fabulous job, she really captured some great pictures of Pepper and Gray (poor Clover isn't too photgenic). Here are just a few...if anyone needs some picutres or is interested you can visit her site http://www.jennifereaganphotography.blogspot.com/ or let us know!
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| The Family |
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| Grayson |
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| Clover |
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| Pepper |
12.15.2010
AFS and FAS
You think these abbreviations are a coincidence? The fertility clinic we have been using is Alabama Fertility Specialists (AFS) and the adoption agency we met with this week is Family Adoption Services (FAS)...interesting no?
We met with Rebecca (social worker), Rick (attorney) and Susan (Rick's wife and spear head of agency) on Tuesday and they are the most wonderful, caring and compasionate people we have ever met. Scott and I loved them and were giving them big hugs when we left. They had a 2 day old little boy there they were waiting to let their new parents know they had been matched with. He was adorable and they had nicknamed him Rudolph. There were lots of things we liked about them other than just the way the treated and sympathized with us. Rick and Susan went through fertility treatments 30 years ago and have two grown adopted children of their own. They are a small agency that places about 10 newborns a year but the way they place the children is what Scott and I thought was the best aspect of the agency. They actually don't let you know you are matched until the legal time frame (5 days in AL) has lapsed...so when they call you to tell you that you have a baby, you really have a baby! Little Rudy's parents are finding out Friday that he is there and I couldn't help but think that family is out there going about their day and they have no idea that Friday morning they are going to get a call that will change their lives.
Scott and I decided that although we still have a fertility treatment or 2 left that we were going to go ahead and fill out the application and file our fingerprint and child neglect clearance forms. It can take up to 12 weeks for these forms to come back so we have some time. While I would love for this FET in January to work I am really getting excited about the journey ahead of us. We have alot to think about and need prayers that we make the right decision. Caucasian adoptions have become such a monopoly and there are so few childern out there that it can take 2-4 years on a waiting list. If we would consider a biracial or african american child our wait could lower to 9-12 months. This is still something that is weighing heavily on our hearts and we need all the prayers we can get to make the right decision. Scott and I feel that if we sign the paperwork and have no preference and leave it up to God he will give us the child we are supposed to have. I start shots on Christmas day for our January FET and take them for the next month with transfer on the 26th of January...still hopeful!
We met with Rebecca (social worker), Rick (attorney) and Susan (Rick's wife and spear head of agency) on Tuesday and they are the most wonderful, caring and compasionate people we have ever met. Scott and I loved them and were giving them big hugs when we left. They had a 2 day old little boy there they were waiting to let their new parents know they had been matched with. He was adorable and they had nicknamed him Rudolph. There were lots of things we liked about them other than just the way the treated and sympathized with us. Rick and Susan went through fertility treatments 30 years ago and have two grown adopted children of their own. They are a small agency that places about 10 newborns a year but the way they place the children is what Scott and I thought was the best aspect of the agency. They actually don't let you know you are matched until the legal time frame (5 days in AL) has lapsed...so when they call you to tell you that you have a baby, you really have a baby! Little Rudy's parents are finding out Friday that he is there and I couldn't help but think that family is out there going about their day and they have no idea that Friday morning they are going to get a call that will change their lives.
Scott and I decided that although we still have a fertility treatment or 2 left that we were going to go ahead and fill out the application and file our fingerprint and child neglect clearance forms. It can take up to 12 weeks for these forms to come back so we have some time. While I would love for this FET in January to work I am really getting excited about the journey ahead of us. We have alot to think about and need prayers that we make the right decision. Caucasian adoptions have become such a monopoly and there are so few childern out there that it can take 2-4 years on a waiting list. If we would consider a biracial or african american child our wait could lower to 9-12 months. This is still something that is weighing heavily on our hearts and we need all the prayers we can get to make the right decision. Scott and I feel that if we sign the paperwork and have no preference and leave it up to God he will give us the child we are supposed to have. I start shots on Christmas day for our January FET and take them for the next month with transfer on the 26th of January...still hopeful!
12.09.2010
The Back Up Plan
Who knew there was a whole world of information out there about adoption. I feel like I have just fallen into some sort of crazy drug ring where you bend the rules and try and outsmart the others. After weeding through a ton of websites I think we might have found an agency here in Birmingham. I called and left a message yesterday afternoon and the social worker Rebecca called me back this morning. She was really nice and understanding and made room in her schedule so she and the attorney, Rick, could meet with Scott and I next week to just talk about adoption and what all goes into it. I told her about our infertility journey and she said adoption had alot of the same emotional feelings minus the drugs. Scott and I really just want to sit down and talk to someone that knows AL adoption laws and how to go about this the right way...I feel like there are so many people out there trying to skirt the system and I think that is why you hear so many frightening adoption stories.
So while we still have a plan we are starting to persue the back up plan a little more. I got my schedule for the FET and I start uterine stimulation drugs on the 25th, Christmas Day...what a Christmas present that would be and will know if the FET has worked on Feb 7. Here is to keeping calm and stress free over the next 8 weeks.
So while we still have a plan we are starting to persue the back up plan a little more. I got my schedule for the FET and I start uterine stimulation drugs on the 25th, Christmas Day...what a Christmas present that would be and will know if the FET has worked on Feb 7. Here is to keeping calm and stress free over the next 8 weeks.
12.08.2010
A Plan and a Back Up Plan
We met with Dr. Malizia yesterday afternoon and she was very apologetic that this IVF cycle didn't work. She said as a Dr. she could tell us that everything went just as it was supposed too and that she didn't see why it didn't work. As a person she said that those just weren't our embryos and the universe just didn't line up for us this time. She talked to us about doing FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) in January. She said she could throw out all sorts of success rates and percentages but none of that really mattered, all that mattered was if those embryos made it through the thaw and attached. Scott and I have talked about what we were going to do over the past week and Scott really wasn't all that interested in going back through the process but while your on the horse you might as well keep riding.
We signed the consent to go ahead and do FET in Jan, we figured we are almost at the end of the road we might as well try this last ditch effort. I decided to start this blog before our IVF procedure not because it was the beginning of our infertility journey but because for the last two years Scott and I had been silent about everything we were going through and where many people, even our closest friends and family, thought this was the beginning of our journey it was actually the end. In the past two years I have temperature charted, taken Clomid and charted, taken Clomid with IUI, taken ovarian stimulation shots with IUI, found out our shot cycle last Decemeber had worked only to find out a week later it had failed. More shot cycles, a hiccup in April that sat us out for 3 months and during that time I had a lap done that discovered endometriosis, although not what they think the problem is. We did a practice IVF round with IUI in August and then planned for IVF in Nov which is where we brought our support system in. I am sure as some of you are reading this you had no idea and we wanted to tell people but for so long we felt that it was something we had to deal with together...on our own. Now that we have all of your support we realize that we should have been more open all along, your love and support has been what got us through this IVF procedure and we realize we needed this support.
Although we did decided yesterday to move forward with FET we are going to begin talking to adoption agencies. To date they still have me classified as "unexplained infertility" which means there is no reason why Scott and I can't pull this off on our own, maybe this just isn't our time. Again, thank you to everyone for the love and support you have sent our way, it really has made a difference. If anyone knows of successful adoption stories we would love to know about the agency they used. There is a huge world of information out there to sort through in regards to adoption and we want to make the best decision possible.
We signed the consent to go ahead and do FET in Jan, we figured we are almost at the end of the road we might as well try this last ditch effort. I decided to start this blog before our IVF procedure not because it was the beginning of our infertility journey but because for the last two years Scott and I had been silent about everything we were going through and where many people, even our closest friends and family, thought this was the beginning of our journey it was actually the end. In the past two years I have temperature charted, taken Clomid and charted, taken Clomid with IUI, taken ovarian stimulation shots with IUI, found out our shot cycle last Decemeber had worked only to find out a week later it had failed. More shot cycles, a hiccup in April that sat us out for 3 months and during that time I had a lap done that discovered endometriosis, although not what they think the problem is. We did a practice IVF round with IUI in August and then planned for IVF in Nov which is where we brought our support system in. I am sure as some of you are reading this you had no idea and we wanted to tell people but for so long we felt that it was something we had to deal with together...on our own. Now that we have all of your support we realize that we should have been more open all along, your love and support has been what got us through this IVF procedure and we realize we needed this support.
Although we did decided yesterday to move forward with FET we are going to begin talking to adoption agencies. To date they still have me classified as "unexplained infertility" which means there is no reason why Scott and I can't pull this off on our own, maybe this just isn't our time. Again, thank you to everyone for the love and support you have sent our way, it really has made a difference. If anyone knows of successful adoption stories we would love to know about the agency they used. There is a huge world of information out there to sort through in regards to adoption and we want to make the best decision possible.
12.05.2010
Home Again and a Big WDE!
I made it back from Dallas in one piece. It was a very hectic and emotional week but I think that it was a good thing that I went because it did keep my mind off things for the most part. I did have an emotional meltdown while I was out there. Things just started pilling up and at some point everyone has a breaking point and I guess I had reached mine. I had a great talk with my manager in the cab on the way to the airport and came clean about everything I had been going through this past year and it really brought me to peace with alot of things. It is extremely hard being a successful woman this day and time. There is a stigmatism out there that even hard working successful woman quit work when they have a child so I felt that I needed to keep my personal struggle with starting a family from those at work so they didn't see me as weak or think that I was on my way out. I feel alot better now that I have gotten this off my chest and he knows that even though I had some of my darkest days this past year I kept work in the forefront and never let if falter despite the greiving, loss and sadness I might have been going through. I made it back safely Friday night and exhausted is not even a good word for how I felt yesterday morning when I woke at 6 am to head to ATL for the SEC game...my eyes litterally hurt. The game was fabulous, even though I caught a few z's on scott's shoulder in the 2nd quarter, yeah I was that tired...I did catch the hail mary at the end of the 1st half and that got me up and going again. The game was great and the energy in the dome was off the charts, I am so glad we are finally getting our chance to go to a National Championship game and I hope that Cam gets what he deserves as a player next Saturday, he so deserves it.
As for us we are going to meet with Dr. Malizia on Tuesday to talk about what she learned from this failed IVF attempt. She left a very sweet and hearfelt message on my phone on Tuesday, I really think she thoguht this was it for us. Scott and I are still skeptical about doing a FET in January just because it is such an emotional rollercoaster and at some point you have to quit challenging Mother Nature. We will have a child and God will put us on the right path to one, we just have to keep looking.
As for us we are going to meet with Dr. Malizia on Tuesday to talk about what she learned from this failed IVF attempt. She left a very sweet and hearfelt message on my phone on Tuesday, I really think she thoguht this was it for us. Scott and I are still skeptical about doing a FET in January just because it is such an emotional rollercoaster and at some point you have to quit challenging Mother Nature. We will have a child and God will put us on the right path to one, we just have to keep looking.
11.29.2010
Off to Dallas
I want to start by thanking all of you for you support and thoughts over the past several weeks, they have meant so much to Scott and I. After the blood test today we were told that it was negative, our 1st IVF attempt has failed. Everything seemed to be going perfect and the other than a little slow start everything went better than planned, perfect cycle were the dr's exact words. There is no way to know why it failed but all we can do is move forward, as I told Scott tonight this is not going to get us down. We are going to meet with Dr. Malizia next Tuesday to talk about doing FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) in January since we do have 6 embabies on ice. Scott and I also have discussed visiting with some adoption agencies over the month of December to prepare ourselves for that next chapter and what all it may entail. Scott and I know in our hearts we will be parents and maybe the path we are currently on isn't the one intended for us. Our child is out there and we are eagerly awaiting the day we are finally able to meet it! Thanks again to everyone for all your support, thoughts and prayers they really have meant alot and have given us the strenght to get through this battle. I am sure there will be many more battles to fight as we aren't giving up and we hope that you don't either!
I am off to Dallas tomorrow for our National Sales Meeting...at least I will have something diverting my attention for a few days.
I am off to Dallas tomorrow for our National Sales Meeting...at least I will have something diverting my attention for a few days.
11.28.2010
War Damn Eagle
Talk about an intense game! I went to the game with my family who are all Alabama fans (not the real obnoxious kind) and because of the cold and rain I switched seats and decided to sit in the Ivory Club (with all the real obnoxious AL fans). I think I held my breath so long my chest started to hurt because that first half was intense. I am glad we were able to recover in the second and bring it home for a win, even if it was only by a point.
I go to the Dr. in the morning for my blood test and I am so nervous. I will go in the morning and they will call me tomorrow afternoon and let me know the results, so convenient that I lost my phone over the weekend! Please continue to pray that we have positive results tomorrow.
WAR DAMN EAGLE!
I go to the Dr. in the morning for my blood test and I am so nervous. I will go in the morning and they will call me tomorrow afternoon and let me know the results, so convenient that I lost my phone over the weekend! Please continue to pray that we have positive results tomorrow.
WAR DAMN EAGLE!
11.25.2010
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and I hope that everyone has a day filled with food, family and safe travels. My house has been invaded by my family so I have alot to keep my mind off the 5 more days I have until Monday...I feel like it will never get here. I hope everyone has a great day and keep those positive test thoughts going.
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