Enjoy your Family While You Can

Since nothing real exciting is happening just yet I thought I would post an article Dad wrote in his last newsletter.

Enjoy your family while you can
CEO Gary Smith discusses joys and sorrows of the cycle of life

For many years, August 18th was no more special than any other day of the year. That all changed 30 years ago when my oldest daughter, Ashley, was born. For those of you that have children, you know both the joy and the fear the birth of your first child brings. A first child is a very special occasion. It changes your life and requires you to readjust your priorities and focus on someone and their needs that you have not considered before. A special and much different bond is formed with your child. You start thinking about your life in broader concepts than before. You think more about the events of the world and your life and the effect they could have on the newest addition to your life. You share dreams and expectations with your children and have a renewed sense of hope by looking at the world through their eyes as well as your own. Raising a first child is an alien experience. You are not accustomed to taking care of another, especially one as small and helpless as your child. That was the case with Ashley, who was pre-term and had to remain in the hospital a week after her mother was discharged. After 30 years, I still remember the fear and confusion about her condition and how she would fare in the hospital without us. Also, there were the concerns about education, social skills, jobs, and the rest of her life. What traits of her parents or grandparents would she assume? Would she be successful? Would she be happy? Despite my concerns, Ashley has turned out better than I ever expected or could have hoped. She is a beautiful young lady. She is very bright and personable. She makes friends wherever she goes. She is successful, a leading seller of automobile financing for her company. She is happily married and lives in her dream home in Birmingham. She and my son-in law, Scott, are attempting to start the cycle of life over with their first child. Because of Ashley, August 18th holds some very good memories for me.

August 18th is special for another reason, this one not as pleasant. A year ago, my father passed away after a short fight with Alzheimer’s Disease. Of course, Daddy’s death was a shock. You don’t think about your parents’ death until it happens, and no one can adequately prepare you for the emotion. Daddy and I were not particularly close. He was not particularly close to anyone. I didn’t understand him and what he wanted from life, and I doubt if he understood me. Also, it didn’t appear that he put much time or effort into understanding me or what I wanted from life. That doesn’t mean I didn’t feel a significant loss when he died. After all, he was my Dad and the only one I had or will ever have. If we really needed help, he would usually offer help or support. Although distant and emotionally detached, he appeared to care in his own unique way. I think about him more now than I did when he was alive. Which of his traits have I inherited? Did he have goals for his life? Did he achieve them? I have counseled our mother that as far I as knew he did only what he wanted to do. But given his choices, was he happy with his life and what he left behind? Within the inevitable cycle of life, one life starts and another ends. Birth leads to death and parents lead to children. August 18th is an important date in the cycle for me, one that will never allow me to forget. It is the date that will always remind me of the joy of a life starting with so much hope and also a date that will always remind me of the sorrow of a life lost and with it, its hope.

I hope you all enjoy your parents and your children to the fullest while you have the opportunity.